Having a baby!!!
I've never built a home before and have honestly not really even majorly moved before! My parents still live in the same home I was born in and my bedroom pretty much looks the same as the day I left!! So needless to say, this process has been enlightening... some joy, but much stress and I think it all finally came to a head yesterday... which is why I was wide awake at 4am pondering it all feeling like I have recently given birth to a baby. So bear with me as I explain:
I have "Post Moving Depression" (AKA "Post Partum Depression" in babyland)
I have a beautiful new home. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new home, but for some reason, I'm not FEELING the love right now!! And it's kinda like how I felt after my daughter was born... I kept thinking I should FEEL a deep sense of love and gratitude for my new little bundle of joy... after all, isn't that what all mother's are supposed to FEEL after bringing a new life into the world?? And yet I struggled. I desperately wanted to feel the love, but it wasn't there... at least not right away. So that's kinda what I'm feeling with the "birth of this new house"... I want to feel it, but it seems out of my reach right now.
Opening Boxes (AKA "Changing Diapers")
Newborns go through diapers like crazy... it's rather overwhelming especially the first few weeks. Pretty much every time you look at your baby, you need to change their diaper and you never know what you're going to get each time you open one!!! Get where I'm going with this one? Everywhere I look in my new home, there are an overwhelming number of boxes... they are everywhere and I never know what I'm going to find in each!! I'm so ready to be done with diapers, er I mean boxes!!!
Comparing my baby to other babies
So... everyone around me in this neighborhood has also just "given birth to a new home" and it's really hard to not compare!! Just like when all my friends were having babies, we'd discuss whose baby was already sleeping through the night (not mine!!), whose was already smiling (outside of gas) and the really hard part was seeing all the other cute outfits (no doubt expensive!) the other babies were wearing. So right beside my all dirt/mud yard is an outdoor heavenly escape... patio, hot-tub, gazebo, landscaping, trees, furniture, grass, bird bath, firepit, bug zapper and a trampoline... and I have a beautiful view of it :) Don't get me wrong, the neighbours all around us seem great... but as I'm watching all the high end furniture trucks delivering item after item, it gets a tad hard as Brad and I turn back to building our Ikea find from the "As is" section. In all honesty, this one doesn't actually bother me that much because I absolutely LOVE bargain shopping and putting together something that looks good for as little as possible and when you haven't spent a ton of money on it, the scratches, dents, tears, etc. don't quite matter as much :)
Anyways, that's my rant for the day... I really do feel blessed to have this home and am praying that it will be used to develop new friends, hang with old ones and build relationships... that is, after all what I wanted it for and intend to do with it. And just like the baby blues passed with time, so will this (right???!!!!) So... I had high hopes of an open house in July (silly me!), but now have my sights set on end of August... whether or not I still have boxes everywhere as it's not about the house, it's about the relationships :) And I miss my friends... so here's a pic of my front door ... I hope to open it to a lot of you over the years!!!