Cancer in my gut...

I cried today... no big surprise for those who know me well.  The phrase "Cancer in my gut" has been hovering in my mind for months... sitting, churning, comforting and convicting me since this past July.  Let me explain...

As some of you know, our family is building a new home.  In fact, here is our annual family photo... standing on our lot one cold day in November...



Over the past 17 years when Brad would occasionally mention moving, I would refuse.  I felt exceedingly blessed to live in the home we had and although there were things I would change, I never felt right about "upgrading" to a different home (especially when so many in our world have so much less).

But, long story short, when this opportunity came up, I finally agreed to entertain the thought, prayed long and hard about it and ended up going for it!  Shortly after the decision, I was reading my Bible one night and came across a very interesting verse (BTW, I'm reading "The Message" and totally enjoying this "storybook" version as it puts things into such a different light!) :

"Your greedy luxuries are a cancer in your gut, destroying your life from within." James 5:3

I kept reading and re-reading this verse and the whole chapter over the course of the next several days and came to feel like it was a gentle warning from God and sure enough, over the next many months of planning this home, it was hard to not get caught up in the desire for "greedy luxuries" in all the house decisions!  Do you know how many different types of "specialty" faucets there are out there, or types of granite with certain profiles and tiles and fridges and cupboards and carpets and windows and railings and lights????

BTW... see this light here... take a wild guess at how much just 1 of these pendant lights cost???!!!



This is the light my family and I picked out for over our island... at least until we found out how much it cost...  $900 each!!!!!  Oh, and we need 3 of them!!! I don't think so!!!  But it's hard to not get caught up in WANTING!!!  Decision after decision was so very hard for me especially when everyone's attitude is "It all just gets added onto your mortgage anyways!" or "If you're moving to Quarry Park, you obviously can afford it"!

Major life lesson:  Just because you CAN afford something doesn't mean you SHOULD!!

Anyways, moving ahead to today... well... today was the final signing of EVERYTHING we chose.  We finished checking it all over for the 1023rd time, signed it and I was driving over the pile of papers when the tears began to flow... I was simply overwhelmed again with how blessed I am... blessed with an amazing family, friends who love me and the opportunity to create a new home where more blessed memories will be formed (and scrapbooked!).  And I honestly feel like with God's help, the "cancer in my gut" was mostly under control through the whole process.  And even my kids get it too... Justin's comment when he heard the price of the light... "Do you know how many kids in Africa that would feed?"  And so we as a family have also made plans for giving more and blessing others even through our new home... LOVE that!!

BTW... want to see the light we ended up getting?  Here it is... and only about $130 each... and we think it's beautiful even if it's not hand forged in Vermont!!

8 comments:

serena said...

I hear you Allison. In the world we live in it is so easy to get caught up with this "cancer in my gut". You can see it on a smaller scale in the scrapbooking world. It's so easy to become a collector of scrapbooking supplies instead of a scrapbooker. It is easy to live a life like this too - just buying the next thing instead of really living!

Diane said...

I think the light fixture you choose is wonderful! And I think we could all remind ourselves how truly BLESSED we are in all things.
Diane

Chantal said...

Soooooo true...I guess it makes me think of days where I take things for granted. Thanks for the nice lesson today!!! I think I might rethink that piece of jewelry I was going to buy myself since I have so many sets already.

Cari said...

Great post my friend!
Here I am feeling sad that I don't have my nice house from AB (because we're in a townhouse right now) - and yet I'm constantly reminded about HOW MUCH WE DO HAVE!!


BTW, I LOVE the light that you guys finally chose! It's gorgeous!

Jodi Patterson said...

We just renovated our bathrooms and I though it was hard to decide on things I can only imagine what it is like for a whole house.

I love the light you choose too.

kdgowdy said...

Alison! Your heart is so BIG! One thing to remember in this "house" journey and every other one for that matter... There are people who WANT and take all they can get without ever thinking of others...this is called GREED. Your family is so not that! You are blessed with things you want BECAUSE you give so much to others...this is called KARMA! There is such a huge difference! HUGS TO YOU AND YOURS...we need more of you in this world!

Anonymous said...

I read this at noon today and can SOOOO relate to not really enjoying this consumer/material world we live in all that much ... but that it is so easy for us to get caught up in wanting the nicest, best, trendiest, etc. etc. Wishing you all the best with your house building!! :-)
Hetty

Laura said...

thank you so much for sharing such an important lesson/moment in your life. YOU inspire me! Knowing you has helped me find a better me. We as readers and your friends are blessed to have YOU in our lives...
thank you Allison!