My "baby" is 14!!! My thoughts and struggles...

I'm really not sure when this happened... but my "baby" turns 14 today!!!!

It seems like just yesterday I was mesmerized by these HUGE beautiful eyes staring back at me... 

As she grew, I marvelled at her extensive strong will balanced by such a soft heart!!!  She was a colicky baby like no other which just seemed to seamlessly flow into the terrible twos...

But the tender spot she had for both her brother...

and how her Daddy has always captivated her heart... always gave me hope!!

So I recently read a quote that I like (I hoard that sort of thing!!) that talks about how...

As parents, the days go SLOW, but the years go FAST!!

And today as I was searching for the perfect photo of Lindsey to celebrate her 14th birthday, I burst into tears as I viewed hundreds of photos of her over the years and began to wonder where it all has gone???  And to be truthful, where has my little girl gone???  She used to be my "Butterfly Girl...

And I used to see this smile ALL THE TIME...

And now, although I do still see that beautiful smile, it is usually only when she is playing soccer or hanging with her friends.  And what do I get to see as her mother????  This...

"The Look" is becoming far too commonplace... especially directed at me :(  And I know teenagers... I've taught them in school for years and am FULLY AWARE of all the attitude, hormones, emotions, embarrassment, anger, etc. that goes along with this age, but I guess I thought it might be different between my daughter and me... I thought I was ready and prepared... nope.

Seems right now I can do no right, say no right, look no right, act no right... pretty much anything and everything I do is wrong :(

So shock of all shocks... AS I'M WRITING THE ABOVE, my daughter texts me begging me to bring her and her friends some McDonald's for her "Birthday lunch" at school... So I go to school bearing greasy edible gifts and she actually HUGS ME IN FRONT OF HER WHOLE CLASS and says that I'm the best Mom ever... with a HUGE SMILE on her face!!!!  

So... I guess this is how it's going to be for a few years... right?  Anyone whose raised daughters????  I'll be the best Mom and the worst Mom for awhile and I won't really know which one it is from moment to moment!!!  But that's okay... I hold firmly to the HOPE that we will get through this okay and my beautiful, strong-willed, soft-hearted daughter will conquer the world with her determination and her heart... and before I can blink, she will be all grown up and looking at me again with that contagious smile of hers!!!  I just need to get both of us through the next few years alive and meanwhile focus on some of the below memories!!! 

Yup... we "blink" and they are as tall as us and suddenly grown up.

Happy 14th Birthday my Precious Girl!!!

I love you always and forever, no matter what :)

Mommy